Bonjour to you. First, we have now entered Christmas time. This is the greatest thing ever. Second, Francis Chan will most likely still be in this blog but the "stuff" I mentioned that was "too much" for my last blog is still being held off. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but I'm just clarifying :) Now, as I happily listen to Brenda Lee sing Rockin Around the Christmas Tree on my Pandora station, I will begin...
Thanksgiving was, per usual, crazy. Good, but crazy. I used more gas than my mom does in a month in the past week driving to everyone's houses and get-togethers and I barely ate any food at all. If you know me this is SUPER weird. I had been so unbelievably excited to physically love on the people that I talk to everyday and think about all the time and God gave me opportunity after opportunity to do that. But I had no idea that loving could be so hard at times.
Seeing everyone at home was literally awesome. It was so good to hug everyone, look them in the eye and listen to them, give them advice, laugh with them (and punch them *boys at church*). For a long time at school I wondered.."WHY am I at school?!" I wanted to be home so badly. Working in my church, spending time with the people I love, pouring into the new friendships I had made and building on the friendships I already was a part of. I wanted to help my mom, love on my dad, spend time with my siblings. I wanted to work and save money, go on a mission trip or help in the community as much as I could. WHY was I at school!?
Well because all of those other things made up MY plan. That was MY idea of growth and MY idea of following the Lord. Not God's. This week He showed me why I was at school, and He, again, renewed my appreciation for it. To be away from everything I knew, to be left with nothing but God, to almost be physically stripped of the comfort of home was God's plan for my growth.
It would take me hours to explain to you what I have been through at school. To explain to you the Godly friendships that I have made. Friendships that are only the way they are because of the Lord and the prevalence of Him in each of us. It would take me hours to explain the way God has changed my mind, my heart. The way He's taken my soul, my stress, my desires. It would take hours to explain what has happened to me in the past three months because my three months should have been six months. They should have been a year! What I mean is the amount that I've grown in the past three months matches up with everyone at school - We were all plucked out of our comfort zones, stripped of what we knew, and thrown together to do something great, to be worked on for something great - But to "home" I have changed at a rate and to a level that is not necessarily "normal".
This was met with adversary. When we follow Jesus, God promises us faithfulness, God promises us love, companionship, salvation, but He also promises us persecution. In high school I experienced a little of this but I was much younger in my faith. I didn't really pay attention to it, thinking they just misunderstood Young Life. But I have never been persecuted and misunderstood by people that I love and are so close to me. It hurt badly, and was really tough to respond to in a Godly manner, but it was mostly sad - when you know that some of the people that you love so much, so much it hurts, would go to Hell if they died today. That's not okay.
That is something else that I could talk about for hours. But I struggled a lot with this over break. And, I found, the only thing I can do is love them. And keep loving God. As much as I can and as visibly as I can.
I have to admit next, that God took me away from home also to teach me to trust Him. And have faith in Him. This past week has been really crazy in regards to that. My youth group is my home, I love the people there more than they could ever know. I think about them every day and in the beginning of the school year that was around 70% of why I wanted to stay home. For them. But no! God was like "Shannon I don't need you! I am the God of the universe! Hello!" <-- Said in low manly voice. And God is working in them! He is working in all of them, in so many ways its inexplicable. It's awesome. And when I went home He let me be a part of that. Which was crazy! It hurt so much to see so much brokenness, lack of faith, desperation, loss. But God was like..."Hey Imma use you for this.. oh and for this.. oh and for this too.. but I just want to let you know that I have this. I am carrying each one of these people. I am HERE. And my timing is the best." So God used me, and through using me taught me more about loving unconditionally, forgiving to be forgiven, having faith in Him, trusting Him, and being patient.
Erin Abell and I were reading Ruth this week. Of course neither of us finished it. Feeling like we screwed up we finished the last chapters yesterday and talked about it last night. Oh, sometimes, how our ideas of doing things right can be so wrong. God's timing for that was perfect. Naomi, Boaz, and Ruth taught me so much. Naomi's story showed me God's faithfulness to us. How badly He wants our hearts and all of our heart. How He will strip us of all we have so that we will come back to Him. Naomi showed me what it means to be selfless. Boaz taught me about how a man is supposed to treat a woman and how crucial it is to do the right thing and not take things into our own hands. Ruth taught be about having faith in God's works, patience beyond words, obedience in a way that is unbelievable. She taught me about sacrifice, loyalty, and blind faith. She taught me about always doing your best and going out on the limb for God. By doing all of these things; trusting Him, waiting for His timing, obeying Him, and having faith, God preservers. Because Naomi's whole family died, because Ruth clung to her with loyalty, because Ruth so happened to walk into the right field, because Ruth was obedient, patient, and a risk taker. Because Boaz followed directions, did the right thing, and had self-control.. God blessed them. He blessed them all. They had NO IDEA but because they followed in each step they begot Obed, who begot Jesse, who begot David. And through David's lineage, Jesus.
And how could I not trust Him, have faith in Him, and want to obey His every command?
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Sunday, November 13, 2011
My Life, Miscellaneously in Chronological Order
I'm not quite sure how to start this. For some reason God's name feels too precious to even type out right now. I have been waiting and waiting to know what to blog about. So many things have happened in my heart and life in the past few weeks. So many things. And not only my heart but others. God really is amazing. As I begin, I want to let you know that most of these thoughts will probably come out sporadically. And I wouldn't be surprised if this blog is majorly long, so here's a forewarning for what you are getting yourself into. :P Per usual, I will try to organize it chronologically. But if you know me...you can testify that organization in general is not really my strength, especially when I'm overly passionate about something.
A few weeks ago I went to the Pre-Passion concert. If you dont know what passion is, take a really quick break right now and go look it up, the blog can wait! :P Now that you know what Passion is and are hopefully thinking about going I'll move on. At Pre-Passion Louie Giglio spoke via video about revival. Something at that time, I was still struggling with containing my restlessness for. That night was CRAZY.
Louie made me realize that I was so restless because I was waiting for revival. I wanted to go out and partake in it. I was scrambling to control what was happening in my head without letting it overcome and completely change my heart. Louie said it, "Draw a circle on the ground around you and pray, right now, ask God to start a revival. Ask Him to start it right there, inside the circle, with you." And then once the revival had begun in me, I can go to the outskirts of my circle and reach people, my family, then my friends, then my school, then the world. But it HAS to start with me. I screamed at myself, HELLO!!!! Of course. So I drew an imaginary circle, and I prayed.
The rest of the night was pure joy. We sang at the top of our lungs, we danced around like goofs, we cried, and finally, we smiled to the point where our faces hurt. I hadn't smiled like that in a long time. I could not. Stop. Smiling! And I just kept singing "You are my joy! You are my joy! You are my joy! You are my JOY!!!!!" (If you dont know that song, take another breather and look it up now) :)
Later in the week I went to CRU where a guest speaker was there for the night. MAN was he monotonous at first. He, of course, was a professor and all I could think about was how terrible his class would be. I jotted down on a piece of paper to Caroline, "I'm not connecting at all." She responded, "We're here for a reason." Conviction smack? Yes. I wrote back..."You're right." Prayed for God to open up my ears, heart, and mind, and started listening like it was my day job. (Oh, it is my day job! :P) All the sudden he was saying everything I needed to hear. Crazy huh? He talked about trials. There are three things we need to realize about trials. First, what the trial is. Second, the condition we are in, our true condition. Third, that trials point us to the feet of Jesus where we can have a relationship and process with Him. He made the analogy, we are the clay and got is the potter. I usually use the analogy, we are the clay and God is the kiln. I think the kiln is a little more accurate to what most of our trials feel like. At this point I started becoming thankful for what I was going through. I had asked Jesus to start a revival in me. I had asked Jesus to break my heart for what breaks His. I asked Him to convict me, change me, rid me of myself and fill me with Him. Why the heck am I always surprised when He does it!? The last thing that the speaker said was, trials are the shaping of us, like the potter shapes the clay, but Jesus shapes us for a lifetime. When He is done with the scraping, the shaping, the kiln, the painting, then and only then are we put on his mantelpiece by his throne.
The next day I left for a weekend at Rockbridge to work on Work Crew for YL. It was a JMU thing ;) The weekend was great! I worked as an AM cook and got to wake up in the wee hours of the morning to cook like 400 pieces of french toast plus more. I also got to clean the drain. :) I'm really not being sarcastic. God knows how our hearts work. And serving is what brings joy 100%. The last night was amazing. Josh Goodman, the programmer, spoke, cried. Josh, a guy from our young life, spoke, cried. Pete Hardesty, the area director, spoke, cried. All for the passion of bringing people to Jesus. Three grown men cried because of the overwhelming love they have for the Lord and for the deep passionate need for people to know Jesus. Made me cry too! I cannot explain to you what happened in my heart during that one sitting. It changed my life forever. Pete explained that there are two things that will last forever. People, and the Bible. People will either go to Heaven or Hell. For eternity. The Bible, the Word, the story of Jesus, will last forever. And the only thing that matters. The ONLY thing that MATTERS in this entire universe and world. On this world, in our lives, for the rest of time, is for people to know Jesus. That is only thing that really matters. Nothing else! Nothing. My heart flipped. And so did my life. Probably the fifth 180 its taken since summer.
Fast forward a week to the David Crowder concert. (+ John Mike McMillan, Chris August, and Gungor) It's amazing how God uses people (aka David Crowder) to speak to the ones He loves (aka everyone). It's also amazing how just thinking about God and Jesus and Heaven can make me cry. It's amazing.
Now we are back to the present! This week has been weird. The beginning of the week was so dry. I didn't want to talk to God. I just wanted to sit and have the Holy Spirit pray for me. But that was just me refusing to pray. God already knew what was in my heart, and what was in my heart earlier this week I didn't feel like repeating back to Him. Thursday I went to a Deep Ceremony. It was at a local church and for college students. It was charismatic. Before you make your judgements take another breather and text or call me right now to ask me about it. I will tell you this though, God, the Spirit, was almost tangible.
Friday I walked to Walmart and back, went to Leadership for YL and got anxious, excited, and restless about being a leader next year! Then we had a spontaneous dance party at one of the guy YL houses off campus. Then a sleepover and Friends. Saturday we walked to Dollar General and picked out stuff for the Operation Christmas Shoe Boxes we got from church (thanks mama for the cash), went to the game, made costumes for the Thanksgiving Party, went to the YL Thanksgiving Party, then went to a dance party again. Today my legs almost fell off.
Church was great! Just having the opportunity to go worship and hear about Jesus is amazing. But later today was when I read something that really impacted me. Francis Chan people.
It is too much for this blog. <3
A few weeks ago I went to the Pre-Passion concert. If you dont know what passion is, take a really quick break right now and go look it up, the blog can wait! :P Now that you know what Passion is and are hopefully thinking about going I'll move on. At Pre-Passion Louie Giglio spoke via video about revival. Something at that time, I was still struggling with containing my restlessness for. That night was CRAZY.
Louie made me realize that I was so restless because I was waiting for revival. I wanted to go out and partake in it. I was scrambling to control what was happening in my head without letting it overcome and completely change my heart. Louie said it, "Draw a circle on the ground around you and pray, right now, ask God to start a revival. Ask Him to start it right there, inside the circle, with you." And then once the revival had begun in me, I can go to the outskirts of my circle and reach people, my family, then my friends, then my school, then the world. But it HAS to start with me. I screamed at myself, HELLO!!!! Of course. So I drew an imaginary circle, and I prayed.
The rest of the night was pure joy. We sang at the top of our lungs, we danced around like goofs, we cried, and finally, we smiled to the point where our faces hurt. I hadn't smiled like that in a long time. I could not. Stop. Smiling! And I just kept singing "You are my joy! You are my joy! You are my joy! You are my JOY!!!!!" (If you dont know that song, take another breather and look it up now) :)
Later in the week I went to CRU where a guest speaker was there for the night. MAN was he monotonous at first. He, of course, was a professor and all I could think about was how terrible his class would be. I jotted down on a piece of paper to Caroline, "I'm not connecting at all." She responded, "We're here for a reason." Conviction smack? Yes. I wrote back..."You're right." Prayed for God to open up my ears, heart, and mind, and started listening like it was my day job. (Oh, it is my day job! :P) All the sudden he was saying everything I needed to hear. Crazy huh? He talked about trials. There are three things we need to realize about trials. First, what the trial is. Second, the condition we are in, our true condition. Third, that trials point us to the feet of Jesus where we can have a relationship and process with Him. He made the analogy, we are the clay and got is the potter. I usually use the analogy, we are the clay and God is the kiln. I think the kiln is a little more accurate to what most of our trials feel like. At this point I started becoming thankful for what I was going through. I had asked Jesus to start a revival in me. I had asked Jesus to break my heart for what breaks His. I asked Him to convict me, change me, rid me of myself and fill me with Him. Why the heck am I always surprised when He does it!? The last thing that the speaker said was, trials are the shaping of us, like the potter shapes the clay, but Jesus shapes us for a lifetime. When He is done with the scraping, the shaping, the kiln, the painting, then and only then are we put on his mantelpiece by his throne.
The next day I left for a weekend at Rockbridge to work on Work Crew for YL. It was a JMU thing ;) The weekend was great! I worked as an AM cook and got to wake up in the wee hours of the morning to cook like 400 pieces of french toast plus more. I also got to clean the drain. :) I'm really not being sarcastic. God knows how our hearts work. And serving is what brings joy 100%. The last night was amazing. Josh Goodman, the programmer, spoke, cried. Josh, a guy from our young life, spoke, cried. Pete Hardesty, the area director, spoke, cried. All for the passion of bringing people to Jesus. Three grown men cried because of the overwhelming love they have for the Lord and for the deep passionate need for people to know Jesus. Made me cry too! I cannot explain to you what happened in my heart during that one sitting. It changed my life forever. Pete explained that there are two things that will last forever. People, and the Bible. People will either go to Heaven or Hell. For eternity. The Bible, the Word, the story of Jesus, will last forever. And the only thing that matters. The ONLY thing that MATTERS in this entire universe and world. On this world, in our lives, for the rest of time, is for people to know Jesus. That is only thing that really matters. Nothing else! Nothing. My heart flipped. And so did my life. Probably the fifth 180 its taken since summer.
Fast forward a week to the David Crowder concert. (+ John Mike McMillan, Chris August, and Gungor) It's amazing how God uses people (aka David Crowder) to speak to the ones He loves (aka everyone). It's also amazing how just thinking about God and Jesus and Heaven can make me cry. It's amazing.
Now we are back to the present! This week has been weird. The beginning of the week was so dry. I didn't want to talk to God. I just wanted to sit and have the Holy Spirit pray for me. But that was just me refusing to pray. God already knew what was in my heart, and what was in my heart earlier this week I didn't feel like repeating back to Him. Thursday I went to a Deep Ceremony. It was at a local church and for college students. It was charismatic. Before you make your judgements take another breather and text or call me right now to ask me about it. I will tell you this though, God, the Spirit, was almost tangible.
Friday I walked to Walmart and back, went to Leadership for YL and got anxious, excited, and restless about being a leader next year! Then we had a spontaneous dance party at one of the guy YL houses off campus. Then a sleepover and Friends. Saturday we walked to Dollar General and picked out stuff for the Operation Christmas Shoe Boxes we got from church (thanks mama for the cash), went to the game, made costumes for the Thanksgiving Party, went to the YL Thanksgiving Party, then went to a dance party again. Today my legs almost fell off.
Church was great! Just having the opportunity to go worship and hear about Jesus is amazing. But later today was when I read something that really impacted me. Francis Chan people.
It is too much for this blog. <3
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