Bonjour to you. First, we have now entered Christmas time. This is the greatest thing ever. Second, Francis Chan will most likely still be in this blog but the "stuff" I mentioned that was "too much" for my last blog is still being held off. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but I'm just clarifying :) Now, as I happily listen to Brenda Lee sing Rockin Around the Christmas Tree on my Pandora station, I will begin...
Thanksgiving was, per usual, crazy. Good, but crazy. I used more gas than my mom does in a month in the past week driving to everyone's houses and get-togethers and I barely ate any food at all. If you know me this is SUPER weird. I had been so unbelievably excited to physically love on the people that I talk to everyday and think about all the time and God gave me opportunity after opportunity to do that. But I had no idea that loving could be so hard at times.
Seeing everyone at home was literally awesome. It was so good to hug everyone, look them in the eye and listen to them, give them advice, laugh with them (and punch them *boys at church*). For a long time at school I wondered.."WHY am I at school?!" I wanted to be home so badly. Working in my church, spending time with the people I love, pouring into the new friendships I had made and building on the friendships I already was a part of. I wanted to help my mom, love on my dad, spend time with my siblings. I wanted to work and save money, go on a mission trip or help in the community as much as I could. WHY was I at school!?
Well because all of those other things made up MY plan. That was MY idea of growth and MY idea of following the Lord. Not God's. This week He showed me why I was at school, and He, again, renewed my appreciation for it. To be away from everything I knew, to be left with nothing but God, to almost be physically stripped of the comfort of home was God's plan for my growth.
It would take me hours to explain to you what I have been through at school. To explain to you the Godly friendships that I have made. Friendships that are only the way they are because of the Lord and the prevalence of Him in each of us. It would take me hours to explain the way God has changed my mind, my heart. The way He's taken my soul, my stress, my desires. It would take hours to explain what has happened to me in the past three months because my three months should have been six months. They should have been a year! What I mean is the amount that I've grown in the past three months matches up with everyone at school - We were all plucked out of our comfort zones, stripped of what we knew, and thrown together to do something great, to be worked on for something great - But to "home" I have changed at a rate and to a level that is not necessarily "normal".
This was met with adversary. When we follow Jesus, God promises us faithfulness, God promises us love, companionship, salvation, but He also promises us persecution. In high school I experienced a little of this but I was much younger in my faith. I didn't really pay attention to it, thinking they just misunderstood Young Life. But I have never been persecuted and misunderstood by people that I love and are so close to me. It hurt badly, and was really tough to respond to in a Godly manner, but it was mostly sad - when you know that some of the people that you love so much, so much it hurts, would go to Hell if they died today. That's not okay.
That is something else that I could talk about for hours. But I struggled a lot with this over break. And, I found, the only thing I can do is love them. And keep loving God. As much as I can and as visibly as I can.
I have to admit next, that God took me away from home also to teach me to trust Him. And have faith in Him. This past week has been really crazy in regards to that. My youth group is my home, I love the people there more than they could ever know. I think about them every day and in the beginning of the school year that was around 70% of why I wanted to stay home. For them. But no! God was like "Shannon I don't need you! I am the God of the universe! Hello!" <-- Said in low manly voice. And God is working in them! He is working in all of them, in so many ways its inexplicable. It's awesome. And when I went home He let me be a part of that. Which was crazy! It hurt so much to see so much brokenness, lack of faith, desperation, loss. But God was like..."Hey Imma use you for this.. oh and for this.. oh and for this too.. but I just want to let you know that I have this. I am carrying each one of these people. I am HERE. And my timing is the best." So God used me, and through using me taught me more about loving unconditionally, forgiving to be forgiven, having faith in Him, trusting Him, and being patient.
Erin Abell and I were reading Ruth this week. Of course neither of us finished it. Feeling like we screwed up we finished the last chapters yesterday and talked about it last night. Oh, sometimes, how our ideas of doing things right can be so wrong. God's timing for that was perfect. Naomi, Boaz, and Ruth taught me so much. Naomi's story showed me God's faithfulness to us. How badly He wants our hearts and all of our heart. How He will strip us of all we have so that we will come back to Him. Naomi showed me what it means to be selfless. Boaz taught me about how a man is supposed to treat a woman and how crucial it is to do the right thing and not take things into our own hands. Ruth taught be about having faith in God's works, patience beyond words, obedience in a way that is unbelievable. She taught me about sacrifice, loyalty, and blind faith. She taught me about always doing your best and going out on the limb for God. By doing all of these things; trusting Him, waiting for His timing, obeying Him, and having faith, God preservers. Because Naomi's whole family died, because Ruth clung to her with loyalty, because Ruth so happened to walk into the right field, because Ruth was obedient, patient, and a risk taker. Because Boaz followed directions, did the right thing, and had self-control.. God blessed them. He blessed them all. They had NO IDEA but because they followed in each step they begot Obed, who begot Jesse, who begot David. And through David's lineage, Jesus.
And how could I not trust Him, have faith in Him, and want to obey His every command?
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